Loving 101: Your Love is Too Precious to Not Develop

Please join in the dialogue about love and dating. To explore why we should be your business partner in love, please contact me on the Designing Love, Inc. website at www.designingloveinc.com

In light of the overwhelming response to my last blog, I decided to continue discussing ways in which I remind myself that life does not owe me.

I came into this world discovering along the way my goals, passions, and dealing with the ups and downs of me to get to where I am now- a state of constant evolution with peace. Coming to the realization that the impediments that society and human beings throw at me are only obstacles, I know that I can jump over negativity, go around insecurity, and ultimately pass through intolerance with grace and dignity with two self- proclaiming statements…”I am the most unique thing that I have to pay attention to in this world. I might as well make something out of me.” I know what you might be saying; does this guy think he is an island unto himself?  Not really…LOL.

However, I have to start with the epicenter of my ethos before I can look out upon the circumference of my intermediate and extended world. Each day I take time to meditate and pray about my place in the world and how my little voice can spark a revolution starting within me. I have come to the conclusion that I possess all that I need to rock my world and yours (figuratively speaking of course). Therefore, the correlation between my love for my loved ones and my zest for life has got to be realized, internalized, and actualized for a change to take place within myself.

The action steps that I deemed necessary for myself came over a wave of revelations consisting of intimate conversations with myself that evolved into moments of clarity and new harmonious spiritual beginnings. Try these steps on for size and let me know how you have integrated into your life the celebration of love within the universe.

  1. Figure Out Who You Are- Be Real for You! 
  2. Decide What You Can & Can’t Control- Don't let what you don't have power over rule your emotions. 

   3.     Make Your Anxiety Your Ally- In the words of Charles Spurgeon, "It has been said that our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength."

    4. Be Brave & Take Risks- Nothing is gained while staying in a comfort zone always. Take some risks. 

    5. Think Analytically & Speak Positive- Critical thinking leaves to positive affirmations of actions that you wish to have in your life. 

    6. Smile & Be Courteous- Give them some charm and a little laughter to go along with that smile. It never hurts. ;-)

    7. Don’t Accept Messages that Damage Your Self-Esteem- You and your network are the beauty that you wish to see in the world. Make it count with positive affirmations of valuing yourself. 

   8. The Moment Your Hear a Critical Remark Ask Yourself… "What’s on this person’s radar?" Assume that critical remarks arise from some shortcoming-whether yours or that of another. Remember that people can only criticize what’s on their radar and their radar may not be reliable. It’s unlikely that any criticism is based on an accurate perception of you. It’s more likely that the critic is reacting to emotions, memories, and behavior patterns that have almost nothing to do with where you are now. Don’t argue with the individual just say to yourself—I know who I am in this moment. Thus, if you decide to take their advice, the internal change that you wish to see within yourself will have a greater impact in the love you give to that individual and the world.  

   9. Spend Time Investing in Your Personal Growth

  10. Figure Out & Solve Your Own Problems Before Those of Others

  11.  Think of Everything that Can Go Right Before You Think of What Could Go Wrong

For more, visit www.designingloveinc.com. We have excited activities coming up from events with Always Opening Doors(alwaysopeningdoors.com), gourmet food drop off services from Chef Shaun Forsett of SolaGratia (https://www.facebook.com/shaun.forsett), national television coverage for Designing Love, Inc., and a big announcement that will change the way we design all aspects of love for you. Stay tuned! 

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Neal Holmes- Designing Love, Inc. June 19, 2012 at 07:35 PM
Thanks Shennod for your comment! I concur that in strategizing for life we certainly have to look at what could go wrong and evaluate how we can help to deter from a negative situation. Personally, I feel that thinking of the positive things first and then planning backwards helps me to realize the "love potential" of what I have to give and grow from in a relationship. Once I understand the good, I can see how to see my personal bias as hopefully just a bias in the relationship first. Keep the questions coming! I love the dialogue. ;-)
Shennod Moore June 19, 2012 at 07:49 PM
Awesome that is a great way of looking at things. Sometimes I have a tendacy to "blame" someone for others mistakes in a realtionship and that is not cool. Also I have a tendency to also let me mind get the best of me (making up scenarios that seem so real or have the potential to be real) when in actuality no harm has even been done. thanks again!
Neal Holmes- Designing Love, Inc. June 19, 2012 at 08:01 PM
Thanks Shennod! I myself have a tendency to do the same thing. It is human nature. Realizing it is the first step. Walking in faith and action to change your outlook is key. At least for me. LOL. Thanks for sharing!
Dr. E. June 26, 2012 at 11:53 AM
Neal, I love you son, you are so talented. I wish you the best always. To bad my life cannot unfold with someone to really and truly love me. I have not given up, it's coming.You speak so well about love. My poetic son.Continue to receive God's gifts. Mom
Neal Holmes- Designing Love, Inc. June 26, 2012 at 08:37 PM
Mom! What an hour to have you post a comment on my blog. I love you! I am sure that life has still many blessings yet to unfold for you. If all else fails..you got me as your son. Thank you for encouraging me and being there for me through it all in my life. You are such an inspiration! Love ya!


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