Loving 101: Where does your voice of love reside?

Please join in the dialogue about love and life. To explore why we should be your business partner in love, please contact me on the Designing Love, Inc. website at www.designingloveinc.com.

After a wonderful and relaxing European Mediterranean vacation with my partner, I am back to offer insight that is inspired from my conversations with friends, family, and of course YOU. I have come to a place in my life where my inner voice is essential to me reasoning all aspects of my life. Growing to embrace expressing myself has resulted in an outpouring of my independence and interdependence upon the universe that provides for me each day and for that I am thankful.  Even though I still toggle back and forth between the wisdom that I choose to accept or let marinate within my spirit, I am thankful for all knowledge that is imparted unto me…even if I don’t always ask for it. Now with the aforementioned background given, I digress to the meat of this blog. 


For months now, I have listened to others come to me in counsel about love advice. I assume to some degree, given what I do as my profession, their solicitation for advice is natural. Nonetheless, I realize that inherently we already know the answer to our deepest questions about love. You can hear it when you truly listen to the voice of your spirit.  Yes, it is fine for one to listen to the advice of your friends, family, and loved ones. However, they do not walk in your shoes or fully understand the essence of who you are at your core. I am sure their insight yields its valid points. Nevertheless, the definition/terms of their happiness for you might not ultimately be the destiny that is before you.  I find that at times we ask for confirmation of our feelings rather than receiving the inherit truth that is before us in all aspects of our life. It is imperative that we don’t project onto others what we wish to see rather than what is for us-our reality and potentiality.  I know that people can change, but the change we seek must ultimately begin within ourselves.  The following questions are what I pose to myself when I seek guidance from Neal and those that I completely trust. Perhaps, these questions may guide you in developing your love. Remember to always be objective. There are always two sides of a perspective, whether we like it or not.


1). How do you accept responsibility in responding to your loved one’s behavior in ways that make you unhappy?

2).  Are you reacting to others anxieties and blaming them for your reactions rather than being proactive and interactive in finding a solution that works for you?

3). Do you need to reevaluate your expectations of other people that may be unrealistic?

4). Is your well being dependent upon other people, their behaviors or opinions?

5). Do you take responsibility for yourself and your feelings/needs? Or, are you abandoning the need to take care of you thus prohibiting the love that flows into others after your needs or met?


Hopefully these questions will help to guide you with your inner voice of love. Yet, the question that I am asked the most is…What core values do I look for in others? This was an awesome question that took some days of contemplation. After much meditation, the characteristics that I look for in a loving spirit (no matter what type of love) are the following:


1.)  Consideration- Always listen to the person who will give you the benefit of a doubt. No one is perfect, and I relish the humilities of others just as I continue to grow in this aspect.

2.)  Peace Loving- This phrase speaks for itself. I am not looking for drama, envy, jealousy, or spite in my life. I am drawn to the positive energy of those who surround me.

3.)  Good Fruit- Surround yourself with individuals whom you admire in all aspects. Do not base your decision of the people who are in your life based solely upon finances…the whole entire package is what you are aiming for and thus what you should look for in people.

4.)  Sincerity- Love yourself with sincerity, and make sure the individuals in your life love you for all that you bring to the table (positive/negative) and what makes you happy.  We owe it to ourselves to be real and not fake in the genuineness of our love.

(Note: You can challenge others with sincerity. However, be impartial and walk in a spirit of understanding your own truth and the truth of others—they might not always coincide.)


No matter what process you go through in loving yourself and finding love. I wish you many blessings on your journey.  Sometimes, life will be full of joy, success, pain, and even confusion. Yet, at the end of each journey, there will be moments of clarity.  In the words of the Catholic priest and author Henri Nouwen, “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.” Write to me and enlighten me about where your voice of love resides. I look forward to your thoughts. Keep striving to be the love/change agent that you wish to see.


For more love insight and info about creative ways to hold a fabulous romantic or celebratory intimate event, visit www.designingloveinc.com or email neal@designingloveinc.com. We are excited to have an office in Memphis, TN now. Thanks for all of your support and feedback in our expansion. Check us out on television on MSN with some of Pittsburgh, PA finest entrepreneurs at the following link: http://rediscover.msn.com/city/253392724

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