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Love 101: Now It’s Time to Complain

Please join in the dialogue about love and life. To explore why we should be your business partner in love, please contact me on the Designing Love, Inc. website at www.designingloveinc.com.

Thank you my wonderful readers for your overwhelming response to the blog “No More Drama.”  As a matter of fact, the response was so positive that I have decided to follow up to see what really does push your buttons in the name of love.  Ironically, this blog comes at the most opportune time. Jeremy Cid of Always Opening Doors (alwaysopeningdoors.com) and Designing Love, Inc. are working together to produce a reality series based upon love and all of its splendor and struggles. This reality show will focus on couples working with a relationship coach to help strengthen their partnership. The highlight of the show is an extravagant, one-of-a-kind date to signify the couple’s new beginning.  As we started to work on the concept of the show, I began to wonder… What really gets under your skin?  If we knew the answer, we could possibly address the problem for our viewers or at least make an improvement in our work. 

 

Any relationship can present an array of problems over time.  The key to addressing those problems is consistent communication. However, communication is different for everyone. And, just how much compromising in the name of love can one take?  One may feel angry, sad, frustrated, resentful, ashamed, and condemned to name a few emotions.  The method of communication each person chooses to display their negative and positive emotions over time will determine the success of any partnership.  Ultimately, if a couple has no positive outlet to display their emotion, the end result is usually resentment and a parting of ways. 

 

So, I regret to inform you that this blog will not focus on solutions to find that happy medium with your love language. Nevertheless, I do suggest for starters that we stop focusing on what needs to change outside of ourselves. You have no control of even those you love, but you do have control over you.  With that being said, Designing Love, Inc. and Always Opening Doors would like to hear from you. 

 

What topics of dating/coupledom/marriage do you feel that need to be addressed?  We want to hear from you!  Your input will not only help to shape the format of our reality television show but an upcoming performance highlighting relationship coaching.  Please share your thoughts below by commenting or email me at neal@designingloveinc.com

 

For all of my readers who often ask me about what do I recommend as an intriguing/interesting read, please check out Strategic Planning for Love & War by Jo Lena Johnson (Water), Steven Charles Martin (Ice), and Kevin Fleming (Soul) at strategicplanningforloveandwar.com

“IceWater” is a couple in life so, instead of a dry self help-type book, you get to see what real problems they have experienced throughout their relationship. Sensitive issues like cheating, lying, and even taboo topics like body odors and bad breath are also shared. The book is complemented by interviews and testimonials from real people about challenges they have experienced in their relationships and marriages, as well as a remarkable selection of the best R&B music provided by Soul, as a musical backdrop.  Check it out and let me know what you think! 

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Lachelle April 16, 2012 at 07:18 PM
This is great Neal. I would like to hear about topics that can affect "non-couples". Those of us that aren't married, yet dating. How do you go from dating to relationship and so on... Can't wait to see what else you have in store. <3 Lachelle
Neal Holmes- Designing Love, Inc. April 16, 2012 at 08:26 PM
Thanks Lachelle for your comment. I really appreciate your feedback, and I will include it in my next meeting about the event. I agree with you. We should have topics that affect "non-couples" also. I will certainly keep you posted. :)
Desmond Walker April 19, 2012 at 01:39 AM
I agree that communication is KEY! However, the language that the couple speaks initially gets in the way. It's like one is speaking English and the other is speaking Spanish...it just won't work. Also, I think one way to generate conversation is to have the person (male or female) to give a couple of names of previous mates. Then ask them all the same questions about the central person. Then show the central the response of themselves compared to what other people think of them. Most times we are not honest with ourselves. And the previous relationships help to bring that out...do I make any sense?
Jo Lena Johnson April 19, 2012 at 04:36 AM
Neal, thanks for sharing your heart and vision for couples and for love in today's world. Also, thank you for recommending our book, Strategic Planning for Love & War, Relationships and Adult Conversations. We appreciate the "love" and the opportunity to serve in every way we can, for relationships worth having! Can't wait to see your series! Steven and Jo Lena, IceWater
Neal Holmes- Designing Love, Inc. April 20, 2012 at 03:08 AM
Desmond thank you very much for your feedback. I totally understand what you are saying here. I think it takes two mature people in love and committed to not only be mirrors unto one another but to look back into their past to seek reflection. I agree completely. Challenging yourself to communicate is a beautiful thing! Thanks!
Neal Holmes- Designing Love, Inc. April 20, 2012 at 03:10 AM
Mrs. Johnson thank you very much for your feedback. It is my pleasure to recommend your book. I love what you and your colleagues are doing, and it is a great read! Yes, we are excited and looking forward to the series. So, stay tuned for more info. Thanks!
Arlisa Scott April 25, 2012 at 03:49 PM
Hi Neal! Well for starters, communication is a top priority in any relationship. However, I think the problem arises when there is a disconnect with communicating. Some examples would be not listening properly to what is being said, not clearly stating what a person is trying to say, and just not respecting each other when communicating. I think a good subject to talk about is trust issues. Meaning trusting yourself and being open and honest with your true feelings. We tend to have walls up against one another which blocks us from having good, meaningful relationships. Communication comes into play with this as well.
Neal Holmes- Designing Love, Inc. April 25, 2012 at 07:59 PM
Hello Arlisa! Thank you very much for your comment. I totally agree that communication is the basis of any type of relationship. We certainly must place respect and value upon ourselves and others in the process of relaying our deepest feelings. Indeed, trust is a cornerstone of communication. Thus, the trust that we build that is centered around honest, engaging, and challenging communication with a foundation of unconditional love can yield a great meaningful relationship. Thanks so much for your feedback!

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