I am back again. :-) Thanks to all of you who reached out to inquire about what was going on with my life due to my lack of being in the social media world.  As the title of this blog makes you ponder, I have been working on my priorities/setting new goals for myself for 2013.  I am sure that we all have something to be thankful for—I got accepted to nursing school…YEAH! I now digress.  Even in the midst of our struggles, loss, and perhaps current dismay, there is always a silver lining.  Coincidently, believing that it is our task to change the world or the people around us isn’t uncommon for those individuals who see this characteristic as being an accountable and responsible citizen. But in my growth, I have learned that changing how I think comes first.  Once my frame of mind adjusts to not only the reality before me but also the endless possibilities that abound, I am ready to now change my behavior.  Here are my reflections on lessons that I have learned as a result of growing pains throughout the course of the year.  I hope they inspire you to set goals for yourself to yield love more without denying what you need in your life.

• No More Control- We try to control things because of what we think will happen if we don’t.  In other words, control is rooted in fear, and you are too beautiful and talented to let fear rule you.   
• Surrender = Complete acceptance of what is plus Faith that all is well, even without others input. 
• Find Out Whose Business You Are In - Your business is the realm of things in life that you can directly influence. This influence may not always be the manisfestation of the outcome that we desire as a result of our sacrifice or love. However, when we try to control things outside of our own business/person-- things do not go well. For example, who you are in love with is your business but to a certain extent your influence can only account for so much.
•  Don’t Project Your Insecurities Onto Others - Embrace your insecurities head own and develop a strategy to deal with them. A person is not the answer to why you see you the way that you do---YOU ARE ULTIMATELY!
•  Confront Your Negative Self-Talk - This is the conversation that you have inside of your head. It is the story that we often times make up as we watch events unfold through the lenses in which we desire to see a situation other than being objective or rational. 
•  Make Decisions That Are Best For You- I struggled with this topic, because I had to admit to a certain degree I was being selfish. However, I am worth making myself the priority in order to take care of the ones I hold dear.  I now simply weigh what are the positives or negatives that I am receiving from an interaction.  If the good outweighs the bad, I continue that relationship.  If not, I let it go for a moment. However, I always know that people grow and change. If I can be the instrument of change, then I can give them the benefit of the doubt if my spirit says to let them in my life again.   
•  Forgive Yourself & Others- This is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself before others. Don’t allow the lack of forgiveness in your life to keep you in bondage.
•  Build Confidence In Yourself- Show gratitude, compliment others, and work out the areas of your life that you wish to see a change from health to finances.
•  Develop A Relationship With Your Spirit- Like a muscle your spirit needs to be exercised and used to increase its potential within you.  And, just like physical exercise, undertaking a spiritual awakening or renewal is not always fun and easy.  Nevertheless, as your body begins to benefit from you working on yourself, you will see your talents and strengths sore.
• Stop Looking For Weaknesses In Yourself & Others- Take a moment to realize that a weakness is a strength that has not been fully actualized yet.  It is waiting for you to make that initial step in helping yourself or another see that we all have the potential to succeed.   

In the spirit of the holiday season, I leave you with the words of American athlete Greg Anderson. “ When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life.”  Let me hear from you what you priorities are for loving you and others in the upcoming year. 

For more love insight and info about creative ways to hold a fabulous romantic or celebratory intimate event, visit www.designingloveinc.com or email neal@designingloveinc.com. We are excited to have an office in Memphis, TN now. Thanks for all of your support and feedback in our expansion. Now with nursing school and a business to run, new blogs will be posted as quickly as my new schedule allows. Thanks for all of your support!  Happy Holidays to you and yours!  I wish you much peace, prosperity, happiness, and of course love in the New Year!