Moms Talk: Potty Training in Time for Preschool

Our Moms Council addresses your concerns about parenting, motherhood, teenage and toddler troubles, and anything in between.

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This week, our Moms Council answered this question:

I've been attempting to potty train my daughter for a while. She's almost three years old now and we've still been unsuccessful. I work full-time, so it's hard for me to dedicate a lot of time to it. Do you have any advice as to what I should be telling the babysitter to do? I'd really like my daughter to be potty trained before pre-school.

Thanks for the help!

Moms Council member Nancy Goodrich had this to say:

Even though your daughter is three, it's possible she may not be developmentally ready for this big step. Babycenter has a potty training checklist available, as does the American Academy of Pediatrics . Like so many aspects of childhood, different kids are ready at different times.

I was in a similar position with my child. I thought he should've had potty training down pat, and I worried when he didn't. Finally, I just backed off. I still scheduled stops at the potty throughout the day and encouraged him to listen to his body. But I sent him to preschool for the first few months in Pull-Ups. He generally stayed dry; we stopped at the potty right before preschool and it was a short enough time that he didn't really need to potty then. When he became consistent about verbalizing his need to use the potty at home, we gave up the Pull-Ups for school.

It helped me, as a parent, to let go of the idea that he might not be learning at what I thought to be a "normal" pace. He did come around to using the potty consistently (although not as soon as I might have thought was ideal).

Moms Council member Heidi McDonald added:

My daughter was very stubborn, and wanted to do it on her own timetable rather than mine. I was working full-time also and I wanted her to be fully trained before she started preschool. I was freaking out because she was nearly four years old and it seemed to be a power thing with her; not that she couldn't do it, but that she wouldn't because she wanted to be in control of the process. What changed everything: the weekend before she started preschool, we had her wear a dress with nothing underneath, and kept cleanup materials ready. She only had to wet herself twice to understand what she needed to do.

We bought one of our boys a "talking potty" that sings a song whenever a sensor feels that something goes into it, or you could get a book/video about going to the potty (i.e. "Once Upon A Potty: For Her"). And I know this is kind of hard to fathom, but there are many videos on YouTube where parents have put up video clips of their little kids going to the potty. Good luck!

Have your own questions for the Moms Council? Please e-mail all queries to beauchamp.sarah1@gmail.com.